 Penny and Linda |
Audio links: |
 Dan |
| Boston
Herald Letter to the Editor May 15, 2006 To the Editor: Having been interviewed by reporter Jessica Heslam in the context of writing an educational feature on the emerging lifestyle called Polyamory, I was greatly dismayed to find an article in yesterday’s Herald entitled “Hub hedonists spread the love.” This title not only misrepresents what the Polyamory movement is about, but also creates a sensationalist tone that is reminiscent of the gay-bashing of times past. This past November, I appeared as an expert therapist on a very well-researched show produced by Montel Williams. In a culture where 62% of marriages end in divorce and according to an article in the current issue of Psychology Today magazine, nearly 50% of adults are single at any point in time, something in our notion and practice of intimate relationship is not working. Montel pointed out that thoughtful new models need to be considered to allow people to have healthy, sustainable relationships. No one model is right for everyone. People are born with different orientations--monogamous and non-monogamous, gay, straight, bisexual, transgendered and polyamorous. What is important is that we are better educated about the range of human identity, so that we may live healthy, authentic lives. The word “polyamory” literally means “many loves.” Polyamory is about love and relationships, not just sex. My polyamorous clients, colleagues and friends are intelligent, conscious, responsible people committed to building quality loving relationships with clear agreements, good communication and respect for the one another’s needs. Many relationships, monogamous and non-monogamous, fail for lack of these very pieces! The polyamorous people I know work harder on the skills required to sustain healthy emotional relationships than most others I know. I also would like to correct the misinformation provided in the article about the Boston Area Sexuality and Spirituality Network (BASSN), which I founded in 2002. Identifying us as “refuge for locals with many loves,” as the article stated, misrepresents our mission and the scope of work we actually do. BASSN is a volunteer run, sex-positive educational organization, providing a wide variety of programs for the community at-large. We have offered programs ranging from Sexuality and Disability to Self-Loving to Tantra to Safe Touch 101 to Ways of Loving: Forms of Relationship. We are developing a program for our 2006-2007 season helping parents learn how to talk with and listen to kids about sexuality. Those who attend our programs range from straight monogamous people, both married and unmarried, to gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered and polyamorous people who may also be single or partnered. Ages of attendees have ranged from twentysomethings to seventysomethings. Our programs do provide a safe, respectful environment, but for everyone, not just one subculture. Respectfully, Linda Marks Founder Boston Area Sexuality and Spirituality Network |
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